Emotional intelligence at work: Owning our reactions
Let’s be honest: I don’t always get this right.
There are moments I have snapped, zoned out, or spiralled into defensive mode – usually when stress is high and patience is low. Guilty as charged. I know what emotional intelligence looks like (the pause, the breath, the thoughtful response), but in practice? Sometimes I choose reaction over reflection. I let my Italian fierceness come out. Sometimes I know better… and still don’t do better. Yet.
That’s the work, isn’t it? Not perfection, but awareness. The ability to clock those triggers before they hijack the whole meeting. Emotional intelligence is less about being endlessly composed and more about knowing where you lose your cool – and trying to stay one step ahead of it. Just breathe…
I’ve learned a few things along the way:
- Stress distorts perception. If I’m not at my best, everything feels like an attack.
- Not every disagreement is personal. Even if my ego says otherwise.
- The pause works. Even if it’s awkward. Even if I want to say “But I’m right!” (I wrote about this very subject here)
- People notice how you respond. And they respond in kind so you got it. An action has a reaction and so it goes…
This isn’t about being the office Zen master. It’s about showing up, noticing how you show up, and trying to do a little better next time – with compassion for yourself, and curiosity toward others.
Especially when you feel like sighing dramatically and exit stage left…
Photo by Олег Мороз on Unsplash
