On assertiveness and quiet confidence

I have been reflecting on quiet confidence and the meaning of assertiveness this week. I met someone who told me they struggled with it and this really surprised me because they came across as very grounded.

Someone once told me that being assertive often means coming across as arrogant. I actually disagree and I think there is a fundamental difference between the two things. Being assertive to me means being able to stand your ground when appropriate but in a positive and calm way. Arrogance means being unpleasantly proud and thinking you are more important/better than other people and often stand your ground no matter what. I can think of situations when I have acted arrogantly and for that I am sorry.

I now understand the meaning of quiet confidence which I think is the quality of knowing who you are and your self-worth. Someone who is quietly confident has no need to tell others how great, fantastic or successful they are because they know. They have no need to put others down to make themselves feel better. They know deep within themselves that they are OK just the way they are. There is a level of self-acceptance that the outwardly arrogant person doesn’t have.

We all have moments of self-doubt but to my friend who struggled this week, I want to say that it is ok to feel the way we feel, accept our limitations and with that level of awareness continue our journey, knowing that everything will be OK, because it will.

PS= the picture in this post is a picture of my cat Fuser being assertive (and very annoyed with me :P)